The Little Oasis Trust

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Our story

Christiana and Luke, co-founders of The Little Oasis Trust

We have always enjoyed travelling and exploring new places. It’s been a big part of our relationship since the very beginning.

When our daughter Ellie was born, we decided to focus on building our lives at home rather than globetrotting, but we couldn’t wait to show her the world as soon as she was old enough. When she was four, we decided to test the waters and try our first family trip abroad to Spain. It was wonderful. Ellie spent the entire flight laughing like she was on a rollercoaster. She was excited to explore and to try new things. She practiced saying “hola” and “gracias” to everyone she met. She even came up with a phrase to describe how being in another country made her feel – she called it “holiday lovely”. It felt like the world opened up for us again, and we spent the flight home excitedly talking about where we could all go next. Two weeks later, with no warning at all, Ellie died.

The shock and enormity of the grief was indescribable. We were – and still are – completely devastated. For a long time we were unable to function or imagine a world where we could go on without our brilliantly silly, cosy and cuddly, beautiful little Ellie-Bean. We struggled to leave the house and suffered from the intense effects of severe anxiety, PTSD and depression. 

The gift of a getaway

After several months, some friends of ours who had also experienced child loss convinced us that some time away to look after each other and ourselves might be good for us. Though hesitant at first, as soon as we left for the airport, we felt better than we had in months.

We also now know that our friends convincing us to go away was a gift. And it came from people who knew the kind of loss we’d experienced and that meant a lot. 

Our time away gave us the chance to change our environment, break the painful routines, and gave us new things to focus on every day. We could be out in nature, exercise and rest (both physically and mentally). But most importantly, we could talk about Ellie, and do things to remember her and celebrate her in a way that would have felt too raw and painful to do at home. We thought it would be hard to leave our home because we thought it would be leaving Ellie but now we know that this couldn’t be further from the truth. She was with us all the way.

Sharing this gift

Our little oasis was a transformative step on our journey through grief. It was while we were away that we decided that we wanted to help other people have the opportunity to experience the same.  

It is hard to think of ever feeling ‘holiday lovely’ again, but we hope that part of Ellie’s legacy will be to help bring a little bit of sunshine back into people’s lives, in the way she did throughout her life and continues to do so through our memories of her. 

Why it's important

A restorative break can provide:

  • Precious time away from responsibilities and every-day demands.
  • Space to rest, physically, mentally and emotionally.
  • An escape from daily routines which may have become unbearable.
  • A way to carry our loved ones forward and to celebrate their memory in ways that can feel much more manageable than at home.
  • New places and new experiences to keep the brain engaged, preventing unhelpful or distressing thoughts from spiralling out of control.
  • Opportunities for physical activity and fresh air that support mental health, such as a gentle walk, swim or simply exploring somewhere new.
  • Exposure to nature, which is associated with reductions in stress.
  • A chance to meet new people and to make connections without being defined by grief and loss.
  • Benefits beginning long before leaving the house – as researching and planning provide a valuable project to focus on and goals to aim for.
  • Permission to experience moments of happiness again without diminishing the love or grief felt for our children.

Child loss can affect anyone, regardless of their background. The financial insecurity it brings can be huge. Parents might not know when, or even if, they’ll be able to return to the job they did before. Work may also become less of a priority as they navigate their own and their living children’s grief. The Little Oasis Trust is designed to alleviate some of the financial worry associated with going away, so that families who have lost a child can take the time that they need to take good care of themselves.